Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Like A Different Child

The Boy's Speech and Language therapist just phoned to see what I'd decided with regards to where I want The Boy to go to school next summer.

I would like him to attend a language unit/autistic spectrum unit. They're attached to mainstream Primary schools, and the idea is - at his own pace - he'd be intergrated into the main school, with their help.

But places in them are like gold dust.

I'm applying for a place in the local Primary, too, in case he doesn't get into a unit. But he's so disruptive at times, I can't see how he'll cope with mainstream right now.

The nursery says he's not the least bit disruptive there. He doesn't scream endlessly. They say he does have a very short attention span, and definately needs a lot of help. They admit mainstream is more formal than nursery, and that will be a problem for him. But he doesn't behave there, the way he does here.

It's not that they don't believe me, they do. They know that a lot of children - special needs or not - behave like completely different individuals at home compared to how they are at school. When the child comes home, they relax and are no longer on their best behaviour. They're so familiar with the parent that they kind of take the piss.

But I just told the therapist exactly what he's like at home. Screaming about things being in the wrong place, or being the wrong size...she was so astonished, she asked if I could video him when he's like that.

As if. I don't have a camcorder, and it's not like he goes off on one, like an event, it's more of a constant stream of whining and screaming and shouting. I'm not imagining things, He really does scream all day long. Both Bag Puss and The Sod can back me up on this...

I'm not sure why they're so surprised. His old playgroup was at a Children and Family Centre, and they knew what it was like at home for us. It must be in his file, surely?

Off on a bit of a tangent, I've got to phone up and arrange appointments to go and see these language units. Then, I have to find them, work out how you get in (I've been to see one before, with our old key-worker from the C&F Centre. It's not easy if you don't know how), meet complete strangers and keep The Boy under control while I do it. All on my own.

I'm actually frightened. I can't bear going to new places on my own. It took me two years to work up the courage to go into a shop I'd never been in before. Before I had The Boy I used to travel up and down the country on my own, no bother. After I had him, I was afraid to answer the door and the phone. Now, I'm not afraid of the phone anymore, but a brand new place somewhere I don't know makes me panic.

Our old key-worker knew it, and as it was a centre that supported the family as well, she came with us. But now he's at a normal nursery that has help for him, but not his family. I'm on my own. I have to confess, there were open days for these units last December, and I didn't go, because I couldn't face it on my own. I made the excuse that The Boy had conjunctivitis. Which he did, but I still should have gone.

I am pathetic.

I will go to these units, and figure out which would be the best for The Boy, and apply for a place there. Even if I have to dose up on Kalms and Rescue Remedy to do it. It is essential I do it, and once it's done, that'll be an achivement.



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